His Winter Heart by Trina Solet

Author:Trina Solet
Language: eng
Format: epub
Tags: lgbt, glbt, gay romance, gay fiction, mm romance, mm fiction, m m contemporary romance
Publisher: Trina Solet

Night was falling by the time Colin headed home. His limbs felt heavy, his head hurt like his skull was screwed on too tight. He approached the apartment with the fear that he would find it dark and empty.

It wasn't empty. Wes was home. As he stumbled in, Colin caught him pacing the living room. Wes stopped and stared at Colin hard, as if he was trying to answer some question about him without having to ask.

Colin stepped toward him, but half the room was still between them. "Do you want to smell me? See what I've been up to?" When Wes didn't take him up on it, Colin sniffed the front of his own sweater. "I smell like smoke, and like booze with a few different colognes and aftershaves mixed in, some BO that isn't mine."

"Stop!" Wes said though Colin wasn't going to go on.

Instead of answering the question Wes didn't want to ask him, Colin had a question of his own. "Why do I have to go out there trolling for guys to get more experience just so you won't reject me?"

"You don't. Are you OK?" Wes asked urgently. He came up to Colin and looked at him closely.

Without answering, Colin leaned against him, resting his head on his shoulder.

"Are you OK?" Wes asked again, this time in a soft voice as he put his arms around Colin lightly.

"I will be," Colin told him. He didn't expect to sound so croaky and pathetic.

Wes's hold on him tightened. It felt so good.

"Now I'm all right," Colin told him. Every second in Wes's arms made the whole evening disappear. There was only Wes and his strong arms holding him. This was how it was supposed to be. Wes would figure that out too, sooner would be better than later. For now he wanted to put Wes's mind at ease. He stepped back a little so he could make eye contact.

"I couldn't do it. One or two guys were pretty hot too. But I kept seeing you, and it hurt to even think of doing it with them. I just don't want to be with anyone else," Colin said and threw himself into Wes's arms again. He spoke leaning against Wes's chest. "After that I thought it might be easier if the guy wasn't hot. Maybe then it wouldn't feel so much like cheating. But it was still too hard. There was this older guy. I thought he would count for a million years of experience. He kind of got aggressive so I had to get the hell away from him." Colin could feel Wes tense.

His breathing got ragged as he pulled back to look at Colin with alarm.

"He didn't do anything much," Colin reassured him.

"I'm sorry."

"It's not on you. I know it was my choice. If it's what I have to do, I'll get up the courage again and do it. But do you really want me out there doing it with random guys?"

"No!" Wes said without hesitation. Colin could see how much the thought hurt him.

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